The Beauty of Being Amortal

Some years ago, Dairy Queen featured an advertisement where two very young voices emphatically stated that “since we are all grown up now, we can have as much ice cream as we want any time we want!”

When the camera panned towards the two actors, each was about 90 years old.

Welcome to amortality.

Amortality, according to The New York Times, is “a state of hopeful agelessness wherein one acts the same from adolescence to the grave.”

During the last ten weeks, I suffered through the reconstruction of my home that was necessary because water poured from a faulty water valve into three levels of my domicile. While going over some old magazines and deciding which to keep and which to toss because of their water-logged state, I came across a March 2009 Time magazine and an article written by Catherine Mayer. In the article, Ms. Mayer coined the term, “amortality.”

Don’t think that since you have not been out of your cave in a while that you cannot adopt this precious little term and make your life better.

First, a further definition. Ms. Mayer posits that amortals “don’t just dread extinction. They deny it.” Aging adherents of amortality, according to the article should adopt a regimen to forestall aging and thus take advantage of radical life-extending and life-enhancing technologies.

Well, while I am waiting for all of that technology to catch-up with me and help me, I am going to go for it. Get a tattoo that features “AMORTALITY” in large Gothic letters. Well, perhaps just a temporary tattoo that I renew as I conquer each amortal merit badge.

Not that I have not been an “amortalitist” for a while. Heck, I keep my trainer busy, wear very much the same clothes that I have for years, and love having the capacity to do what I did 40 years ago. I try to omit the bad habits I did over the years. While France’s Nicolas Sarkozy and Madonna may be amortals, I do not want to make their kind of mischief. Well, maybe not some of it…

So what am I to do as an amortal? I know what not to do for me. There’s a guy who lives near my mountain who plays cards three times a week and plays golf four times a week. That’s not an amortal to me. Nope. I am going to continue to work, travel, and play just as I have always worked, travelled, and played. And, along the way, I am going to make new discoveries and find new things, too. Nothing new here…just the same great stuff from beginning to end for me.

So what will you do? Will you be amortal, too? Let me know!

Mary Ann
The PenMaster